Habololy Forum

An alternate title could have been "Beorn 'inadvertently' starts a human trafficking ring"

Esra suggests we be forthright about displacing entrenched the CB cult.

Iwakasi agrees.  We should tell them that we were sent out on a Holy mission by Yoshi (insert 2 generations of lineage), a cleric of the Oldest Orc.  We explain we removed the cult power of the Celestial delegation and now, the families that the power tricked into moving into the swamp need protecting.

The first night at the inn, while everyone is finishing up their evening meal, everyone overhears a familiar tune being played by that evenings performer, a halfling bard.  Everyone is concerned until they hear the lyrics...

🎭 Ode to the Last Great Bard
(Parody of one of Isaac's songs OoC:“If Today Was Your Last Day” )

[Verse 1]
He strode in with sequins, lute in hand
Said, “No need for a sword — I command!”
He charmed a sphinx with a single smirk, Then cried when his Glamered Boots got dirt
He'd adjust his cuffs in the midst of fights (Would you, Could you)

[Chorus]
🎵 If today was his last show,
We'd recall his boots not a killing blow
We’d remember his hair more than any foe (Would you, Could you)
He claimed he tanked with style and sass
But all his scrolls were framed headshots in glass
Ran from fights to preserve his ass (Would you, Could you)
🎵 If today was his last show, (Would you, Could you)
🎵 (If today was his last show)

[Verse 2]
He once seduced a banshee ghost
Said, “Even the dead know who shines the most”
Claimed his cologne caused enemies to rue
(Somnium, Somnium)
He kissed a prince, then blamed a spell
Then wrote a song called "Oops, But 'Eh',Oh Well"

[Chorus]
🎵 If this was his final tune,
We’d hum along out of pity, not swoon
Considered everyone not him a goon
He sang of honor, loss, and pride
Then tripped on his new Cape mid-stride
Announced his titles in every town
We’d let him believe he stole the glow
We’d read his poems etched in gold
About the time he “soloed” that kobold
He courted a dryad for her tree
Then posed beside it for publicity
Then rhymed his name six times with “divine”
🎵 If this was his final tune,

[Bridge – Spoken or sung softly]
🎵 If today was his last show,
🎵 His song was loud, but his sword stayed clean
🎵 Faced all dangers armed with charisma… and poor impulse control”
🎵 He was brave…His story… a one-man bardic fever dream, Let his legend fade, We’ll just call it our Ode to the Last Great Bard

[Chorus – Final Repeat]
🎵 If today was his last show,
We’d throw a toast and let him go
He’d encore three times against a foe.
He gave his all — of that, we’re sure
Just none of it helped the party endure
In the fray never once drew steel
He wore his ego like a blade
Sharp, untested, overly displayed
We’d hang his portrait in the bathroom stall
He'd end each fight unmarred
Let his legacy echo through the yard
In this, our Ode to the Last Great Bard
🎵 If today was his last show

As the halfling bard finishes, you hear a lot of cheering and laughing from the crowd

Jesse, Still a little (a lot) shaken from all of the companion deaths, isn't quite ready to return home.  He offers to go on the search for Roland.

Gareth says:

We may need to split up again. What if the gemlin mutant can use the lever to open the outer door?

Laz looks at him with barely controlled frustration. “If we split up and anyone else gets taken, there won’t be enough of us to come find you.”

Jesse says "I agree with Gareth.  And, though it kind of pisses me off to admit this, I agree with the slow witted lizard.  I think we should take the lift as high as it can go then make a run for the door to make sure it has remained closed.  Once we are sure that nothing has escaped, we can leave someone behind to close the door behind the rest of us like before.  Maybe even get Isaac and Vecci back inside to do it if they have been stuck outside the complex this whole time.  If something got out, well, then that's Iotts problem."

Iwakasi had

• Tachi (2-handed falchion, not magical)
• 7600 gp in gems
• Evocation Tattoo (now partially dissolved)
• Studded Leather Armor (also partially dissolved)

Jesse has been shaken by this whole experience, especially the apparently undead bugbear dong