Profit comes for City Cleaver
Perhaps no one took greater advantage of the aftermath of the Day of Broken Magic than Parker. Of course, as he participated in the breaking of the stones, he was perhaps better prepared to do so than anyone. Parker and his fellow relic hunters, his mentors Dean Hawklyn and Professor Vello-Shan, and Ben Dothan, the Ursinal of the Council of Ten, spent much of 797 through 799 scouring the world for items that they wanted to keep out of the hands of Iott or the Collector. Parker, just slightly less altruistic than his fellows, became one of the wealthiest men in Icefia. His fame (or infamy) increased commensurately.
His home in Phiam was the subject of several burglaries, by offenders ranging from the inept, amateur, criminals, to professional thieves from Icefia and abroad, to divine agents. All of them failed, unable to overcome the mansion’s defenses and when necessary Parker’s timely arrival. In Coustus 800 Parker would face a challenger determined to undo his greatest accomplishments.
By this time, the Collector’s faithful were among the most zealous on Habololy. Determined to satisfy their master’s every wish, his agents were often in a race with the relic hunters. When they failed, they had to find another way to acquire the desired object. Usually this meant barter, but some items had to be taken. On the fateful day, Parker arrived at the mansion a few minutes ahead of the intruder. Though he knew an attempt was imminent, he could not see the identity of his adversary until he arrived. Parker was not surprised to see Profit, an agent of the Collector, arrive and begin to probe the defenses.
Profit, as one of the Collector’s most powerful servants, had an arsenal of magic items that would make most kings jealous. As a proxy of the Collector, he was able to draw sorcerous power directly from his patron and had access to the mightiest spells. Profit had prepared for Parker’s chronomantic abilities and knew that as a master bard he could bedazzle him with song. Profit had heard tell that Parker was even a competent, if less than honorable, swordsman, and knew that he had formidable allies, in particular his wife, his two dwarven housekeepers and a stone golem. Finally, he knew that, somehow, Parker enjoyed the favor of the High King of Iceifa, so any attempt would have to be quick and subtle. In spite of these difficulties, Profit was sure he would succeed, for succeed he must; the Collector demanded City Cleaver, and so it would be delivered.
To his surprise, the front door of the mansion opened and a well-dressed dwarf emerged, one of the famed housekeepers no doubt. “Master Profit, Professor Berko is expecting you and has prepared a selection of libations from the cellar.†Sure that it was a trap, Profit warily followed the dwarf inside. Parker was waiting for him at the foot of the grand staircase, seemingly unarmed. Lightning quick, Profit produced a wand from an invisible summoning sheath and pressed it against the dwarf’s head. “I have no desire to harm him or you professor (said with contempt), but I will have the sword.†Parker, appearing concerned for his retainer’s wellbeing, gestured to the siting room, where Profit saw the blade laying across the outstretched palms of what was obviously the feared Furious Guardian.
Taking the dwarf as a shield, Profit attempted to retrieve the blade and realized it was three times his size. He brought out one of his most minor items to summon an improved unseen servant and stood dumbstruck as it failed to activate. He spun to face Parker, and the last thought that went through his mind, before the bullet from Parker’s priceless Whirlson pistol, was: “That’s a beautiful piece, it would make a wonderful addition to the collec . . .â€.
Poll